Not Everything Is Yours (or Mine) to Do: 6 Steps to Being Intentional
Just because there is something to be done, does not mean it is yours to do.
Just because there is something to be done, does not mean it is yours to do. Click To Tweet
I’m finally tired enough of being tired that I’ve decided to use my “no” more than my “yes.” In this age of crazy busyness, it’s necessary to be intentional, and that requires saying “no.”
It seems we all commit to way more than time permits. And it may be an epidemic among Christian circles.
For far too long, if there was something to do, I’d say yes. Be on this school committee? Sure. Help with this church activity? Of course. Edit this newsletter? I’ll get right to it.
What I found out was by overcommitting I didn’t do anything particularly well, and I couldn’t pursue the areas I was gifted in or serve my family well.
NY Times best-selling author and Proverbs 31 Ministries Founder Lysa Terkeurst knows the importance of this issue in our lives. She wrote an entire book that just released on this very subject, The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. Since I just started reading it, I won’t review it here, but so far, I’m finding it speaks to my heart.
(And the best thing about this book? Lysa is donating all proceeds from the sale of The Best Yes to charity!—link to purchase it is below.)
Being Intentional
It takes great intention to turn down worthy requests. Our “no’s” have to be preplanned.
It takes great intention to turn down worthy requests. Our 'no's' have to be preplanned. Click To Tweet
After much prayer and reflection, I’ve made certain determinations for my schedule for this next school year.
- teach Sunday School but not serve in a leadership role
- target my school volunteering to those activities my children are in or where my particular interests lie
- prioritize time with God and Bible study
- set aside an hour a day to write what God has placed on my heart
- intentionally cultivate friendships
- stop bleeding work into family time
It’s not easy and I often feel guilty about not stepping up when there is a definite need in an area. However, I’ve realized that when I fill a position as just a warm body, I prevent/deter someone else who is better equipped from doing so.
Not to mention, when I say yes to everything, I overfill my schedule, which negatively affects God’s calling on my life, including caring for my family.
I can’t expect to serve God well when I’m run so ragged I don’t have the energy to hear or obey.
Six Suggestions
We are not meant to do it all.
We are each gifted in certain areas and called to certain tasks. The other tasks are for … well … others. And we were created to rest, as God did (Genesis 2:2).
Rushing through life merely causes us to miss much of the glory God offers in our earthly existence. When we purposely slow down, we find ourselves in a better position to listen and help.
- Study God’s Word.
- Schedule in ink the non-negotiables: personal Bible study/prayer, family, sleep, meals, dates, exercise (I struggle with this one), worship.
- Schedule other priorities: time set aside to cultivate friendships and pursue hobbies, clean house (maybe this should be a non-negotiable?).
- Don’t give an immediate “yes” to a request. Pray about it as you carefully consider each request in light of your gifts and #1 and #2.
- When you make a decision, act on it. Too often we guilt ourselves into changing our minds.
- Remind yourself repeatedly—post it on your refrigerator, write it on your mirror, tattoo it on your hand (just kidding on that one)—Just because there is something to be done, does not mean it is yours to do.
Calming the chaos in our lives isn’t easy. And no one is going to do it for us.
Making best decisions for our time requires discipline—commitment to gather wisdom and learn discernment—then acting on both.
Making best decisions requires discipline—commitment to gather wisdom & learn discernment—then acting on both. Click To Tweet
As Lysa wrote in The Best Yes, “You must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please.”
Go out and love and serve as you are equipped, but don’t bow to the pressure to please others. After all, the only one we need answer to is God.
“Apply yourself to discipline
and listen to words of knowledge.” Proverbs 23:12
Reflection: How do you avoid the trap to say “yes” to everything? Have you always done it well? Any suggestions?
You can get your copy of The Best Yes to read for yourself (and contribute to some wonderful causes) by clicking on the title or image here:
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The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands |
By His grace ≈
Julie
Find hope in your real-life struggles. We'll chase it together! I am a wife; mom of 4 (including a young adult daughter with special needs); miscarriage mom of 5; author & follower of Jesus Christ. I write, edit, speak and enjoy everything outdoors.
A ton of great points in this one Julie – We are not meant to do it all, and we should not feel like we are responsible for it all. You also used two of my favorite words – “Intentional” and “No”
They are rapidly becoming two of my favorites as well, Jon!
Such wisdom here, Julie. Love this – “Just because there is something to be done does not mean it is yours to do it.” Also love the quote from Lysa about confusing the command to love with the disease to please. Thank you, and God bless.
Thank you, Trudy. Lysa has many great quotes. My quote is the mantra I need to keep telling myself. 🙂 Blessings to you.
Looking forward to reading Lysa’s book. It’s such an invaluable tool…knowing when to say yes.
Great suggestions and thoughts Julie!
So appreciate your comments, Melanie. May the Lord guide your yes’s and no’s this week.
Great piece thanks for this
You are wise
And you are sweet…. Thank you, Mary.