The Key to Loving Well (out of the life of babes)

“Out of the mouths of babes…” is an idiom uttered when a child says something particularly astute and wise.

Well I say, “out of the life of babes…,” because out of my children’s lives I’ve learned so many valuable lessons! Especially from the life of my daughter who has significant special needs. 

One area in which Rachel’s a particularly good teacher is loving well.

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You cannot get to know my daughter by simply asking her a few questions. You also can’t always take her “no” answer for no or her “yes” answer for yes.

And certainly don’t rely on her to always act as you think she should given a particular situation.

You have to dig deep to really get to know Rachel. And that’s true for many individuals, not only those with communication difficulties.

But one thing you never have to wonder about with Rachel is whether she loves you. That answer is always and obviously yes!

loving well

Key to Loving Well

Rachel doesn’t ask if a person needs some love. She doesn’t wait until someone deserves to be loved.

She simply loves!

Through hugs and kisses, she demonstrates her love for every living, breathing human being she comes in contact with.

Although my daughter has an extremely limited vocabulary and has significant intellectual delays, she understands something many of us don’t. 

Rachel understands that every single person needs to be loved. Right now. Right where they are. 

Every single person needs to be loved. Right now. Right where they are. Click To Tweet

Because everyone hurts deep down…

or is facing a tough decision or a difficult circumstance…

or is feeling unworthy or unlovely…

or is frustrated or confused…

or wishes they would have made a different choice…

or has too much to get done…

or just had a fight with, or said unkind words to, a loved one…

or is just plain weary.

Everyone has a wound that begs to be bandaged with love. 

Everyone has a wound that begs to be bandaged with love. Click To Tweet

But too often, as adults, we hide our love behind intellect and reasoning. We smother it with our own insecurity.

We need to learn how to love like a child: completely and unconditionally. 

Too often, as adults, we hide our love. We need to learn how to love like a child: completely and unconditionally. Click To Tweet

We need to understand that everyone needs love. Right now. Right where they are. When we remember that, we’re well on our way to loving well. 

Understanding that everyone needs love, right now and right where they are, puts us on the path to loving well. Click To Tweet

Love Everyone. Use Words If Necessary.

Based on what Rachel’s taught me, I’m changing the not-entirely-biblical saying “Preach the gospel. Use words if necessary.” to proclaim

“Love everyone. Use words if necessary.”

Yes, sometimes words of love are necessary.

They certainly are important in wedding vows. And most of us want to hear them from our spouses and say them regularly to our loved ones. 

In fact, I’d be ecstatic if I could hear those three little words from Rachel. 

But love goes far deeper than words.

Love is real and deep when it is felt in a hug, seen in a smile, experienced in being served and serving others.

It involves giving of time and attention, forgiveness and grace. 

Real and deep love is not earned or deserved, but given despite and regardless—exactly how the Savior loved! And much like my daughter demonstrates. 

Real and deep love is not earned or deserved, but given despite and regardless—exactly how the Savior loved! Click To Tweet

Let’s pray the answer to whether we love becomes always and obviously yes! 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 ESV

Reflections: Do you know others who love deeply and offer it without preconditions? What have you learned from them?

Going on 5 years of counting and I’m nearing 5,000 gifts in Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare! What a blessing! Here are numbers #4,810–4,830. Read my entire list by clicking here.

  • An amazing boost to my followers and subscribers: more individuals I get to serve!; Insight and encouragement from my support team; A quiet place to work
  • Celebrating March birthdays with the residents of our local nursing home; Super group of gals to serve alongside; Broken television service line
  • Daniel (my oldest) is accessible by phone again!; Good dental reports today; Guiding my youngest as he becomes more independent
  • Best school day for Rach in a long time (finally feeling better all around); God’s grace in providing comforting/encouraging words for me to share; Unexpected listening ear
  • Morning walk with my guy to kickstart the day; Finances finally falling into place with a lot of diligence and hard work; Friday night popcorn
  • Zach and his college singing group landing safely in Dallas for their spring break tour; Cheering on Joey and the entire jazz band at competition; Watching my favorite movie, “Sound of Music,” and finding out it’s Rachel’s favorite too!
  • The delight on so many Special Olympians’ faces, even when finishing last; Young volunteers having a blast helping “the least”; The quiet of our church building “after hours” in which to work

By His grace ≈

Julie

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Find hope in your real-life struggles. We'll chase it together! I am a wife; mom of 4 (including a young adult daughter with special needs); miscarriage mom of 5; author & follower of Jesus Christ. I write, edit, speak and enjoy everything outdoors.

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