“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,” (Ephesians 5:22).
Wait, don’t click away! This is a beautiful invitation from God, not the horrible demand some women fear it to be.
You’ll feel better after you read God’s charge to husbands a few short verses later:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her,” (Ephesians 5:25).
Wives submit; husbands love. It’s a lovely dance of marriage done right. Yet often this God-ordained union looks anything but lovely.
Marriage Is Hard
Marriage is hard. To be done well, it requires giving and serving. Thinking of another over self. Walking in the roles God set out for each partner.
Two selfish people unite, and “the two will become one flesh” (Mark 10:8). But to fully become one, she must learn how to respect and he must learn how to love (not often an easy feat for either party).
I thought I was doing that … loving and respecting that is. Throughout our 27 years of marriage, I did what I thought I should to be a good wife, not what God said to do. My intentions were good; yet, in many ways I was sabotaging our union.
Instead of being the helper God had chosen for my husband, I wanted to be his conscience, his mother, even in some ways, his savior. I wanted to change my guy to be the guy I wanted, not the man God created.
I disrespected him in an attempt to help him. Um … by the way, that never works.
By God’s grace, my eyes were slowly opened to what my role as a supportive, loving, and respectful wife should be. Developing the habits to live out that role has taken much longer. In fact, I still have a ways to go.
To help me stay on course in becoming the wife my man needs, I’ve been digging into marriage books. The latest is Jen Weaver’s new book, A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Receiving, Honoring, & Celebrating God’s Role for You in Your Marriage. In it, Jen explores the 11 blessings God wants to bestow on a wife through her marriage and the wifestyle habits that allow her to receive them.
A Wife’s Secret to Happiness
A Wife’s Secret to Happiness is an action-oriented book filled with scriptural truth, practical tips, questions to consider, true-false quizzes, and testimonies from other real-life wives. Throughout, Jen shares honestly about the mistakes she’s made as a less-than-perfect wife and the lessons she’s learned by the blessing of God’s “more-than-perfect provision.”
In each chapter, the author unveils a blessing and then compares the #wifestylin habits that build up or tear down our husbands, and in turn, support or hinder that blessing. Although I found it difficult to answer the true-false quizzes (I wanted to qualify the answers with sometimes or maybe), I thought the tips for application quite helpful.
This book is definitely written with millennials in mind. As a middle-aged woman, I found some of the references and stories a bit distracting.
However, let me hasten to add that precious nuggets of conviction, encouragement, and truth are woven throughout A Wife’s Secret to Happiness. Wives of any age and stage of marriage will be blessed to receive them.
“Submission is divine empowerment that culture has confused and the enemy has contorted to mean oppression.”
“Hierarchy is not a product of the Fall; it’s an attribute of the Father. The three Persons of God—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—show preference and deference to each other.”
“I cannot trust God and reject what he says. If God is good and if everything he does is good, then submission is good. Recognizing my husband’s authority as my leader is good. Obedience to Ephesians 5 is good. To believe otherwise means I doubt God’s character.”
“How I live as a wife is less about my relationship with my husband and more about my relationship with my Savior.”
“Our actions always show submission to someone—whether to ourselves, the enemy, or to the Lord. We have the opportunity to partner with our husbands with sincere hearts, as servants of Christ.”
“Receiving the blessing of life as a godly wife requires that we follow God’s instructions for our lives as wives.“
“The roles the Lord gives us in marriages, and the parts our husbands play, these are positions to celebrate, not tolerate.”
Yellow and orange highlighter adorn many of the pages in my copy. That’s a tribute to how many gems you’ll find in this book.
Reap the Rewards of a Happy Marriage
Whether you, like me, are further along in your marriage or are just beginning your journey as wife, let Jen make the path smoother.
Husband-leadership truly is a blessing. For wives it begins with learning to walk out our helper role, respecting our men and reaping the rewards of a happy marriage. In this book, Jen Weaver shows us how.
“For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.
32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:31-33
Reflections: Do you see husband-leadership as a blessing or curse? Is your marriage a lovely dance or a tug-of-war? Are you walking in your God-given wife role? Let Jen walk you through your position of helper to your man and discover the secret to a lasting, fulfilling marriage.
*I’ve received 2 copies of this book in exchange for an honest review. There are affiliate links in this post.
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Yours in grace ≈