When Disappointment Threatens to Crowd Out Joy

A recent event sparked disappointment in a few of us in my family. It wasn’t a tragic event with life-altering consequences, but a time of discouragement and unrest. 

You know the feeling. A sense of longing for the opposite of what did happen. 

As I was processing this event, I realized competing camps battled for my heart (and likely the hearts of those loved ones who were also impacted by this): Bitterness and Growth.

Bitterness

Unchecked, disappointment can set roots deep and grow into a tree of bitterness. 

Unchecked, disappointment can set roots deep and grow into a tree of bitterness. Click To Tweet

Bitterness is fueled by the belief that we deserve something. The more we stew about a particular let-down or set-back, the more we convince ourselves that we are entitled to better. 

And once the tree of bitterness gets established, it is difficult to root out. It can permeate and spread to all areas of our lives, coloring them yellow with jealousy and red with anger.

Joy is snuffed out by a belief that we are entitled to something we didn’t get. 

Growth

When processed properly, disappointment can lead to a divine appointment and growth.

When processed properly, disappointment can lead to a divine appointment and growth. Click To Tweet

God can and does use circumstances in our lives as lessons and growth opportunities. Even ones He did not directly orchestrate are used by Him for our benefit.

It’s just a matter of waiting and looking for His hand in action. In other words, instead of focusing on the disappointment in a situation, look for the embedded divine appointment.

There is one. I promise you!

Perhaps it is a lesson on patience or empathy or surrender or gratitude or contentment. We’ll never know if we turn a blind eye to the possibility. 

The Choice

It really is a choice. Do we  let a momentary disappointment grow into a deep-rooted tree of bitterness that bears rancid fruit for years? Or do we experience the joy of learning and growing in wisdom and character and in our relationship with the Lord through the let-down? 

With every disappointment, the choice presents itself. 

Although, I continue to struggle a bit with this situation, I know the path I want to follow and have made strides in that direction. 

1. I have begged forgiveness for my pride and entitlement thoughts. 
2. I’ve asked the Lord to dig out any roots of bitterness trying to get established in my heart.
3. I’ve sought out things to be grateful for in and around this situation. 

I’m focusing on discovering the divine appointment in this particular disappointment and experiencing the joy of His plan. 

Disappointment can be a hard pill to swallow, but it is often the medicine we need to grow into a nearer likeness of the Lord. 

Disappointment can be hard to swallow, but it is often the medicine we need to grow into a nearer likeness of Jesus Click To Tweet

I’m willing to swallow any number of pills to move me in that direction. And I always have something to be grateful for: I won’t ever choke on God’s medicine (just maybe gag a little). 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

Reflections: Have you recently experienced disappointment? What choice did you or will you make? 

Linking with Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience in 2013 with my Joy Dare list for Multitude Mondays (#2229–2249, read the entire list by clicking here):

• Prayed-for encouragement; Laying on the floor with my sweet girl–just being; Gigantic Ida-Red and Winesap apples
• Ran into 2 seldom-seen friends; Squirrel antics on the tennis court fence; Feeling heard & appreciated at a school mtg
• Kittens playing on the deck; A walk with friends; Second chances…and third…and fourth…
• Visiting Dad after cataract surgery-doing well; Son’s courage in battling thru his weaknesses to perform; Friendly clerk
• Canning completed for the year!; Zach’s first college app submitted; Opportunities for deep heartwork
• Wonderful fun at a family rendezvous; Treasure hunt thru the woods; Advice & support at Platform University
• Joy teaching younger Sunday School kids; Great high school musical shows; Family traveling to see Zach in the musical

Also linking with this wonderful site:

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