Sometimes I Lose Sight of Hope, but He’s There (A Prayer)

“Are we willing to completely rely on God when nothing else makes sense?”–Jo Ann Fore, When A Woman Finds Her Voice

Dear Lord,

As I look at Rachel. Her well-formed body—outwardly complete, yet inwardly somehow different. I wonder, is this a mistake—a disability as we call it—something that went wrong? Or, somehow, is this how it should be? Is this exactly how you made her?

When her little cells were dividing, did you tell them to divide a little differently, or perhaps stay together instead of parting company?

Did you have plans so great for her that you had to create her as one of the least? 

hope, even when we can't see

I know you weren’t surprised, Lord, when she was born with a hole in the roof of her mouth, heart anomalies, and an inability to keep acid from scorching her throat.

I know you didn’t look down shocked from your lofty perch and whisper to your angels, “Something went wrong; this little girl is going to develop slower than most children.”

No, Father, you knew all along. You always know.

You knit her together in the womb just as you do every other being on Earth (Psalm 139:13). In fact before the foundation of the world, you knew her and already planned for her salvation (Ephesians 1:3-5).

I know these things, Lord. But…

Sometimes It Is So Hard

Sometimes this world blinds me to the possibilities that exist in Your magnificent realm.

The things of this world have a way of blinding us to the possibilities that exist in your magnificent realm, God. Click To Tweet

Sometimes I forget that with only a word, you spoke the entire universe into existence. That you breathed and man walked and talked.

Sometimes I forget that you are the Director of the sun and moon. That the winds and rain answer only to you. That with a wave of your hand the mountains move.

It’s just that some days are so difficult in my humanness, Father.

Life gets chaotic and hard, and amnesia wipes hope from this finite mind of mine.

A hope that you have this thing called life under control. A hope that my unborn children are nestled in your bosom. A hope that my little girl was not a sad accident, but instead a beloved, divinely planned child of yours. A child whom you have created with greatness in mind.

So forgive me, Father, when questions roll off my tongue. When I doubt your love. When I fail to trust in your plan.

Forgive me for my little faith.

Hope Always

And thank you, God, for community that opens my eyes to your possibility where I see only impossibility.

Thank you for relationship: the gift of your Son to bring us back into fellowship with you and the blessings of sweet Christian brothers and sisters who restore my memory that Hope (with a capital H) is ONLY found in you.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for remaining steadfast by my side when I pushed you away and for forgiving me when I doubt.

Thank you for the life I would have never planned but which is perfectly planned for me.

Thank you, God, for your unending love and grace. 

Hope may disappear from view for a time, but the closer I draw to you, the less I need to see Hope to know it’s there. 

Because you are Hope, Lord, and you never leave us. Amen and Amen!

Hope may disappear fm view for a time, but the closer we draw to God, the less we need to see it to know it’s there. Click To Tweet

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade–kept in heaven for you,  who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” (1 Peter 1:3–6)

Reflections: Are you struggling to hold onto hope? What is one step you can take today to help you hope again?

This is one of many stories on hope, healing, and finding our voice posted and linked up today on Jo Ann Fore’s blog. They are written by bloggers incredibly excited about Jo Ann’s new book, When A Woman Finds Her Voice: Overcoming Life’s Hurts & Using Your Story to Make a Difference. It is the last week for this Wednesday linkup. This week’s topic is on Finding Hope in God.

To purchase Jo Ann’s book, click HERE. 

The online Book Study has started! It’s never too late to join. Don’t miss it. It’s free and flexible! Register here. 

Jo Ann Fore

Also linking with:

Rachel

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Yours in grace ≈

Julie

I am a blessed wife, mother of four, and follower of Jesus Christ, celebrating each messy day through His grace. I write, edit, and speak as God leads.

Posted in Daily Living, Disability/Special Needs, Hope, When A Woman Finds Her Voice
  • Kalonda

    That was just beautiful Julie 🙂

  • Julie, I am also part of the on-line study group and came over to
    read your words this morning. I love your words “Thank you for the life I would have never planned but which is perfectly planned for me.”

    • So glad you did, Maria! I’m excited to be in community with you.

  • Norma Brumbaugh

    We don’t always understand but we know the One who understands. Your story touches the heart, Julie. Your thoughts speak of a mother’s heart sharing its hope. Thank you.

    • We do have to get to that point of understanding, Norma, to live in joy and contentment.

  • Sarah Knepper

    Julie, your prayer is so beautiful! I am touched by your openness and acceptance of this situation. I am deeply touched.

    • Even on “bad” days, Sarah, I can now see a piece of the loveliness God has planned for me through the gift of Rach. I don’t always like the situation, but I can now trust that somehow it is for my good.

  • Susan Contakes

    Dear Julie,
    Thank you for sharing your heart. I can relate to what you are expressing. I have a little boy who is possibly autistic. I am seeking to just try to love and God loves and trust Him to give the meaning to what I don’t understand. Thank you so much for sharing and writing.
    bless you,
    Susan

    • That’s the best way to live, Susan! God is teaching me through Rach.

  • Julie – I love your heart, and your voice. You model courageous faith by letting us see that asking questions is okay, that doubts are okay and that we can always come back to the Cross, to Jesus. And He always has a plan, always! Bless you.

    • Shanyn, your support, and that of so many others, encourage me to be open about my faith journey, the highs and lows.

  • Holly Solomon Barrett

    Lovely post, Julie. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story with us. It is hard to hope sometimes but I’m so grateful that we don’t have to pretend with our Father. He knows right where we are, meets us there, and somehow we feel better.

    • Thanks, Holly! When we really think about it, God’s sovereignty is comforting, even when we don’t necessarily agree with it. Because He loves us, there’s always Hope–always!

  • Cindie

    thank you for blessing us with your transparency. A reminder that God always knows what questions are on our hearts. Blessings to you.

    • At least when we are questioning, we are turning to Him instead of blocking Him out. He is a big God, much bigger than we give Him credit for. Thanks for commenting, Cindie.

  • renee barry

    Thank you for this post. I have a son who struggles so much and I find myself saying “Why??” But you are right — it did not catch him by surprise. God is good — it is hard though. I will trust in Him.

    • Oh, I am so glad you read this, Renee! Bless you for your vulnerability in admitting your questions and difficulties. It IS hard; so difficult! But when we can look through the hard part and see that God is still there, never leaving us, it becomes a little easier. And when we begin to look at the possibilities of our difficult situation–realizing that somewhere in this, there will be good because God has plans only for our good–then we start to find renewed hope and joy and contentment right where we are. It IS possible. I am praying for you and your son.

  • Your honesty and faith gives hope to many facing tough questions. Beautiful post, Julie.

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Hello, I'm Julie, an imperfect wife and mother of four. Life in this broken world is not always easy. Yet, joy can be found in each day through the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I find it's easy for our day's BLESSINGS to get lost in its HAPPENINGS. But God's "mercies never end" (Lamentations 3:22) and His "grace is sufficient" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

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