“Are we willing to completely rely on God when nothing else makes sense?”–Jo Ann Fore, When A Woman Finds Her Voice
As I look at Rachel. Her well-formed body—outwardly complete, yet inwardly somehow different. I wonder, is this a mistake—a disability as we call it—something that went wrong? Or, somehow, is this how it should be? Is this exactly how you made her?
When her little cells were dividing, did you tell them to divide a little differently, or perhaps stay together instead of parting company?
Did you have plans so great for her that you had to create her as one of the least?
I know you weren’t surprised, Lord, when she was born with a hole in the roof of her mouth, heart anomalies, and an inability to keep acid from scorching her throat.
I know you didn’t look down shocked from your lofty perch and whisper to your angels, “Something went wrong; this little girl is going to develop slower than most children.”
No, Father, you knew all along. You always know.
You knit her together in the womb just as you do every other being on Earth (Psalm 139:13). In fact before the foundation of the world, you knew her and already planned for her salvation (Ephesians 1:3-5).
I know these things, Lord. But…
Sometimes It Is So Hard
Sometimes this world blinds me to the possibilities that exist in Your magnificent realm.
Sometimes I forget that with only a word, you spoke the entire universe into existence. That you breathed and man walked and talked.
Sometimes I forget that you are the Director of the sun and moon. That the winds and rain answer only to you. That with a wave of your hand the mountains move.
It’s just that some days are so difficult in my humanness, Father.
Life gets chaotic and hard, and amnesia wipes hope from this finite mind of mine.
A hope that you have this thing called life under control. A hope that my unborn children are nestled in your bosom. A hope that my little girl was not a sad accident, but instead a beloved, divinely planned child of yours. A child whom you have created with greatness in mind.
So forgive me, Father, when questions roll off my tongue. When I doubt your love. When I fail to trust in your plan.
Forgive me for my little faith.
And thank you, God, for community that opens my eyes to your possibility where I see only impossibility.
Thank you for relationship: the gift of your Son to bring us back into fellowship with you and the blessings of sweet Christian brothers and sisters who restore my memory that Hope (with a capital H) is ONLY found in you.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for remaining steadfast by my side when I pushed you away and for forgiving me when I doubt.
Thank you for the life I would have never planned but which is perfectly planned for me.
Thank you, God, for your unending love and grace.
Hope may disappear from view for a time, but the closer I draw to you, the less I need to see Hope to know it’s there.
Because you are Hope, Lord, and you never leave us. Amen and Amen!
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade–kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” (1 Peter 1:3–6)
Reflections: Are you struggling to hold onto hope? What is one step you can take today to help you hope again?
This is one of many stories on hope, healing, and finding our voice posted and linked up today on Jo Ann Fore’s blog. They are written by bloggers incredibly excited about Jo Ann’s new book, When A Woman Finds Her Voice: Overcoming Life’s Hurts & Using Your Story to Make a Difference. It is the last week for this Wednesday linkup. This week’s topic is on Finding Hope in God.
To purchase Jo Ann’s book, click HERE.
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Yours in grace ≈